She said….

I am the kind of person who doesn’t want to give advice. I mean, who am I to tell someone what he should do in his life? Maybe I’m just afraid. What if he did what I told him to do and his life became miserable? Well, I don’t wanna be blamed. So I just listen sympathetically and make the person think from outside the box. I make him realize his options and decide on his own. And yes, whatever happens, my hands are clean. 🙂

Ironically, I was given the advice column back in college. I found one article in the midst of my memorabilia box. It was published August 2005. Thank goodness it’s not a matter of life and death situation.  Here it goes….


He said, She said….

This is really not a case of devastated relationships. I have a happy family and a wide circle of friends. The problem is, I think I’m having an identity crisis. Sometimes, I can’t help but feel physically attracted and emotionally attached to the same sex. I haven’t been in a relationship with one though. When I jokingly tell my friends about those queer feelings, they laugh and say they don’t believe me. They’ve got a point anyway, because if you’d look at me, I’m totally the refined type. I’m very feminine in the way I dress, talk, and behave.

I don’t know if this attraction is purely based on admiration or something more. I’m afraid I have to ask this: Am I a lesbian?


Being attracted to people of same sex is, I think, a typical case to everyone, especially for girls. Honestly, I myself have been attracted to girls and I really admire some of them. But just because you are attracted to the same sex doesn’t mean you can count yourself as a lesbian.

To make everything clear, let me first define what a lesbian is. A lesbian is a female homosexual, which means a female who is having a sexual relationship with another female.

The first thing you must do is to know yourself very well. If you are attracted to the same sex, for instance, because of her physical appearance, or her good sense of humor, then this attraction is purely based on admiration. And this is so if your intention is to just establish a platonic relationship with her. However, that’s not the case if all you want is to have an intimate relationship with the same sex. We both know that there are lesbians who are feminine in the way they dress, talk, or behave so being a lesbian has nothing to do with that. It’s a matter of your feelings and desires for the same sex.

Now, try to weigh these things in your mind and in your heart and I am quite sure that it will help you a lot to identify who you really are. You are the only person who knows yourself very well. You are the only one who could answer the question. But of course, the first and most difficult risk you must face is to be honest with yourself.


Here is the copy of the school paper which I was able to keep for almost six years now.


Sincerely Mheg

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